My Empty Hands

I think every girl and woman should participate in martial arts, or in the very least take a self-defense training course. For half of my life I have been involved in martial arts; at home I did karate for 8 years and now, at college, I have gotten involved in tae kwon do. As a shy, nonathletic 10 year old my mom was shocked when I expressed interest in taking karate, but excited that I wanted to take part in something that was good exercise and could come in handy she was more than happy to pay for lessons. Those monthly checks were more than worth it.

In karate I was taught to rely on myself and feel confident in my abilities—not only physically but also mentally. For the first two years I was the only girl in my classes so not only did I have to scream, get put in chokeholds and spar, but I had to do it with all boys. As I tested up in the belts I began to be paired with more and more men. When a man five inches taller than me and double my weight punched me and I defended myself with an arm break that left him rubbing his arm and complimenting me on my “takedown,” I felt a sense of accomplishment, powerful. I walked a little taller, stood a little straighter, learned to ignore the comments meant to bring me down, make me cower.

Not only does karate force you into close physical fighting situations with men and women, but it encourages self confidence. Rarely are women urged at to be more aggressive, encouraged to kick and punch men (contact a must!), and applauded for red faces, messy hair and sticky, sweaty clothing. I remember taking a weight lifting class in high school with about 20 guys, mostly footballers and wrestlers, and four other girls. Even in this voluntary class the girls did not want to break a sweat or lift too much weight for fear of “getting huge arms.” They frequently complained about running sprints or would simply “sit out” of workouts, usually choosing to spend their time cheering on the boys and flirting. I often felt like a freak for actually pushing myself during class and tried to hide the sweat stains on my t-shirt.

Karate does not make excuses for women—if you take martial arts you are there to punch, grab, kick and attack. Anything less than your best is not accepted. If more women took martial arts and were forced into situations that flirtatious talk, excuses based on being “a girl,” and attractiveness could not get them out of, but instead required aggression, confidence, and power, women would learn to rely on an inner confidence instead of their physical appearances.

Perhaps the next time a man groped such a woman on a crowded subway or her boyfriend slapped her, she would not feel helpless. Instead she would have the self-assurance to make a scene and expose the man to the rest of the subway, or have the self-confidence to hightail it out of the abusive relationship knowing she is better and stronger on her own. Karate is about being your own weapon, your own defense against a culture that suffocates women under the pressure of maintaining “femininity” through being petite, generous, nurturing, non-confrontational, and subordinate, and learning to understand that confidence, self-respect, and strength are just as feminine.

-Madeleine